


Shovel Talk

by storiesfortravellers



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, De-Aged!Clint, F/M, Gen, Ice Cream, Shovel Talk, cuteness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-18
Updated: 2013-08-18
Packaged: 2017-12-23 21:57:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/931525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storiesfortravellers/pseuds/storiesfortravellers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clint is de-aged to 8 years old and the whole team adores him. But when everyone finds out that Steve and Natasha are dating, Clint decides to give Steve the shovel talk.</p><p>For this prompt at avengerkink:<br/>"Steve has just gotten together with any (so long as they're not Tony), and someone close to Any pays Steve a visit and promises to destroy him should he ever hurt Any. Steve bursts out laughing, and sincerely apologises for not being intimidated, then tries to pretend that he is actually intimidated (because they went through all the trouble) but isn't convincing."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shovel Talk

Clint had been de-aged to the age of eight for six weeks now, and according to Thor's magical consultant, Clint would naturally return to normal at the end of the month. Child-Clint hadn't remembered anything - not who he was, not even his childhood before the age of eight (Natasha said this was a blessing, and Coulson had nodded grimly).

They all adored little Clint in ways that were sure to make the adult Clint grumpy and embarrassed. Clint clung to Natasha relentlessly, and it was obvious that Natasha's sudden 'strict mother' act was how she had always imagined a nurturing family to be. Tony made him ridiculously advanced robot toys, which delighted him. Thor would pick little Clint up and soar him around the room like an airplane. Bruce would calmly talk Clint into coming down when he climbed something impossibly high with the promise of playing videogames together. Steve would sit on the floor with him, drawing pictures in crayon, complimenting how well Clint drew pictures of the team. And Coulson took him out for ice cream every day. 

Natasha would occasionally give Coulson an annoyed look, pointing out that a waffle cone with two large scoops would surely end up in the form of floor vomit once Clint started his usual hyperactive tear through the tower. Coulson just shrugged. "We only get him for a few weeks. Besides, ice cream has calcium. Good for the bones. I'm practically giving him health food." And with that, the team stopped assuming that Coulson was the de facto rational adult in the room.

Coulson had also gotten Clint a little bow and arrow set, after Clint had convinced one of his robot toys to hack into the computer and find out why everyone kept talking about "when normal Clint comes back." Clint was so excited to find out that he was Hawkeye, a superhero with the best aim, that he started throwing sharp objects around the tower for practice. Coulson had gotten him a small bow with arrows on the condition that Clint only practice on the range. They all expected Natasha to say no to giving an eight year old real arrows, but her version of overprotective mother was to remind Clint that he had to remember to bring the healthy snacks she packed him if he spent more than four hours on the range.

After a while, the novelty wore off, but they were all enjoying little Clint's company as much as they could, even if they did miss his adult counterpart. The new talk of the tower, however, was that somehow the team had discovered that Steve and Natasha were a couple, and that they had been for a while. "Somehow" in this case meaning that Tony hacked into Steve's computers to play some sort of prank involving giving Steve misinformation about the cultural norms of the current century -- i.e., directing Steve's browser to a fake article explaining that raising the middle finger now just means 'thanks, buddy' -- when he found telling emails to Natasha. 

"Emails about what?" Thor had asked at the dinner table.

"Nothing dirty, unfortunately," Tony said, and Steve tried not to blush. "But why didn't you tell us you were a couple?"

Bruce, Thor, and Tony all looked at Steve. Natasha was away on a mission, which was probably the only reason that Tony wasn't in terrible pain, and Clint was thankfully oblivious, playing with a little robot in the corner, apparently teaching it to do circus tricks.

After a long awkward silence, Bruce said, "Of course we understand that you have a right to a private life. We won't talk about it if you prefer."

"To your face," Tony added, "We are totally talking about this behind your back." Thor nodded, and Bruce sighed.

“We appreciate your discretion,” Steve said pointedly, got up, and headed toward his suite. He and Natasha had discussed how they would handle it when the team found out, and Natasha’s plan was to tell them nothing and to instruct the team to mind their own business _or else._ Steve figured that he just did a slightly more polite version of that, and that all parties should satisfied.

\--

Later that evening, Steve heard a soft knock at his door.

It was little Clint, who was wearing a serious look on his face. He walked in.

“Sit down,” Clint said authoritatively.

Steve was a little nonplussed by being ordered around by a child, but he sat on the couch.

“I drew this picture,” Clint said. He opened up his little backpack, took a piece of paper out, and handed it to Steve. Steve looked for something he could compliment Clint on, but then he realized that it was a picture of Steve in his Captain America uniform, dismembered and with a knife sticking out of his head.

He handed back the picture. “Um. Clint. Is everything okay?”

“I know you’re dating my Auntie Natasha,” Clint said.

“And that upsets you,” Steve said, in a sympathetic voice.

“Of course it doesn’t upset me, you dummy. She likes you and you like her. You’re nice, and you’re a good draw-er and you’re not a wimp. And I think you look lonely sometimes, so it’s good that you and Auntie Natasha can be girlfriend and boyfriend.”

“Okay…. Thanks….”

“But it’s only fair to warn you.”

“Warn me?” Steve asked.

Clint climbed up on the couch and stood on the cushions so he was slightly taller than Steve, who was seated. He leaned in close and said, voice full of eight year old menace, “I like you Steve. But if you hurt Auntie Natasha, I will Kick. Your. Ass.” He leaned back and did his best attempt to look intimidating.

Steve tried very, very hard not to laugh. He may even have let out a little gust of air, but seeing Clint’s hurt look, Steve quickly said, “You sure scared me good, Clint. I definitely will treat Natasha with all the respect she deserves.”

“As long as that’s clear,” Clint said, trying hard to maintain a sense of dignity as he climbed off the couch. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Steve.”

“Okay. ‘Night, buddy. Glad you stopped by,” Steve said, still trying not to smile.

Clint picked up his backpack, walked toward the door and opened it. Right before leaving, he quickly pulled a bow out of his backpack and shot a little arrow that went just an inch above Steve’s head and into the wall behind him. 

Clint smirked. “Just a little reminder, Uncle Steve. I may be small. But I’m awesome.”

Clint swaggered down the hallway then. Steve didn’t find it nearly as adorable as he did a minute ago.

\--

When Clint went back to normal, everyone teased him about how cute he had been as a child. He remembered it all, and told them all to cram it, which they knew was Clint’s way of thanking them for taking such good care of him. Clint also made sure to rib Coulson a little for completely spoiling him: “Geez, Coulson, if you wanted to adopt me, just say so.” Coulson rolled his eyes, considerably less taken by adult Clint, and said, “Get back to work, Barton, or no ice cream for you.”

They had a team dinner to celebrate Clint’s return – amazing Italian food – and they sat there into the night, drinking wine and good coffee and sampling desserts. When the meal was almost done, Clint leaned over to whisper to Steve.

“Hey, man, I know I threatened you before. Sorry about that,” Clint said.

“It’s no problem. I mean it was actually pretty adorable.”

“I didn’t mean it – I mean I was a little kid. I think you and Natasha would be great together.”

“Thanks, Clint,” Steve said, affected. “That means a lot to me.”

Clint grinned at him conspiratorially. “I mean, how silly was that – little me, threatening you? Like, how funny is that, some little kid thinking he can protect Natasha by threatening a supersoldier?”

“It was pretty funny,” Steve said.

“I mean, I’ve seen Natasha tear apart guys piece by piece. Humans, monsters, aliens. Some a lot more powerful than you. Used their strengths against them, took everything she needed from them, and then made them beg for death. And that was just business. Can you imagine what she would do if someone wronged her _personally_? I mean, it’s so funny to think that when I was a little kid, I thought I could hold a candle to that. It’s hilarious, you know?”

Clint was smiling at him still, but it had slowly transformed into a menacing smirk.

Steve nodded. “Yeah, Hilarious.” 

They went back to their wine glasses and tiramisu. As they ate, Steve realized that adult Clint gave that speech a whole lot better than the smaller version did.


End file.
